out & in the house |cry-fiesta | that man

So, few months ago I was caught in some fight with my parents and he asked me to listen to him or just get out of the house. The reason was regarding something which felt like it might be dangerous and not safe. I ended up packing my bags within an hour and I was out.

I cried to my mom over a phone call later that no one cares about me and no one even applauses me. I want my folks to celebrate me. Nobody cares for me! I am the only one who thinks of your birthdays and anniversaries and all of that. I am greedy person and I want you guys to see me and not just brush aside any celebration. Having me around who is the only one who smiles alot in the house and laughs and cracks stupid lame jokes. You shall celebrate the one!

I bawled my eyes. It was like I just allowed myself to let loose and let all the thoughts out. I am grateful I had someone, my mother to talk to and listen to me.

I hope everyone out there finds someone who will listen and give a pat on the head and a snuggle where you can again cry and turn into a crybaby.

As I have been experiencing relationships in this current age hopefully I will become the one who “listens” deeply and truly “cares” and vice versa. And doesn’t hesitate to take emotions-overboard! I don’t even know if I will be able to enjoy such kind of love which I feel only mother’s have.

So I was just out for a day. That’s it! Always, chase something! Always! You’ll at least reach or complete the journey halfway. But it is fine! It is important that you tried.

Sometimes I feel that guy could be the one on whose shoulders I can cry about something which happened years ago. But I just feel that! The label we have surrendered to doesn’t give me much permission to do that because again it will be only me who will feel the “shame” of false expectations.

Whenever I see him or look at him I always get that flattering-cozy home-like feeling.

Much love,

April